Introduction
Our upbringing, our parents’ words and deeds, and our developmental stages all have an impact on which we become as adults and how we behave in society. When we were youngsters, most of us battled hard to get our parents’ attention. But what if we only received encouragement and recognition for doing things that were deemed “deserving” or when we completed a task in the “correct” way?
Parents who lack the self-assurance to foster an environment that is supportive of their children’s whole development may be the cause of golden child syndrome. Being called the “golden child” is not necessarily a sign of a lucky situation. Usually, the golden kid of the family is chosen to represent the grandeur and achievements of the parent. Narcissistic parents frequently provide this persona to one of their “special” kids. Regretfully, the golden kid is expected to accomplish at levels of brilliance that are likely unachievable.
What is the syndrome of the golden child?
The “golden child syndrome” is a common phenomenon, but because it is neither a medical or psychological disorder, it lacks a recognized clinical definition. Within the narcissistic family structure or similar dysfunctional family system, the narcissistic family member—often a parent—usually prioritizes one child because they see that child as the embodiment of all the traits and attributes they believe they own.
Narcissists connect with their golden kid as their own and put the onus of living up to their brilliance on them. These expectations can entail the youngster succeeding in pursuits like academics, athletics, or any expressive outlet where the narcissist attempts to persuade themselves that they are successful. The parent lives via the kid, who is supposed to uphold the family’s reputation. Regrettably, from early infancy to adulthood, parental pressure on a child can have negative effects.
This effectively implies that the golden kid is now expected to be the best at everything and is always expected to live up to their parents’ expectations, regardless of whether they agree with them. Praise from parents can affect how the golden kid feels about themselves, and siblings may also be affected by this kind of family dynamic. If the golden kid wants to keep getting their love, care, and devotion, the parents put pressure on them to keep up their accomplishments and conduct in accordance with their expectations.
The Indications of a Golden Child
Traits of a golden child are as follows:
A task to be completed: Golden children are aware that their standing in the family is directly tied to their ability to meet their parents’ expectations. The golden kid might never even attempt to pursue their own ambitions since they were raised to focus on what their parents needed from them.
People-pleaser inclinations: Because they know that part of what makes them special is their capacity to become what their parents want them to be, the golden kid learns to stress and prioritize pleasing others from an early age.
Early adulthood: Golden children are often parentified, meaning they are forced to adopt a false or phony adult identity by their narcissistic parent. Because they are viewed as more remarkable or flawless than their siblings, the golden children receive higher education. This is detrimental to the child’s development and destructive.
Fear of failing: Siblings of golden children enjoy preferential treatment, but if they fall short of their parents’ standards, they may face severe consequences for their transgressions. People have chronic anxiety as a result of this fear failing other people or themselves.
Extreme guilt: Whenever there is a “golden child,” there is typically a “bad guy” child as well. Everything that goes well is connected to the golden kid’s generosity, and everything that doesn’t is the fault of the offender. The golden kid understands this to be fair, and they may carry this sadness into adulthood due to the way their siblings were treated.
Contrasting allegiances: Since the golden kid feels obligated to satisfy their parents, they could be requested to assist with sibling punishment. Internal conflict arises when the golden kid learns they are part of the same family as their siblings.
They could be seen negatively by the golden kid, who feels they are never “perfect enough.” They may be terrified of ruining their name and being made the family scapegoat if they were often treated as the scapegoat.
They have moments of “need-panic” when the golden child’s demands appear out of nowhere and they are powerless to resist them.
Golden child syndrome’s effects
The following are some detrimental implications of golden child syndrome on life quality:
Enhanced Fear
Unsecured connections
narcissistic characteristics
Low regard for oneself
Inadequate Limitations
Although there is little research on golden child syndrome and no formal diagnosis, professionals are aware of the ways that family dynamics, particularly those with often narcissistic parents, can negatively affect a kid. If you or someone you love exhibits any of the above characteristics, it’s imperative that you refrain from holding kids accountable for the mistakes made by their parents. In order to get over the golden child mentality, you have to learn to say no to others and acknowledge your own “good enough.”
What is the golden kid syndrome of the scapegoat?
The golden kid helps the parent forget their emotions of worthlessness by making them feel accomplished and successful, whereas the scapegoat allows the parent to ignore the truth that they are the problem.
How can the golden kid syndrome be overcome?
Since change cannot occur unless the root of your pain is acknowledged, raising awareness is the first step in transformation.
In order to truly go inner and discover who you are and what you want, Dr. Suri, a clinical psychologist, advises combining counseling, writing, meditation, and time spent alone yourself away from outside influences. This will allow you to honestly delve deeply into your likes, dislikes, and goals.
To help you recognize patterns that could be affecting you or making your everyday life uncomfortable, therapy may also be a useful tool. According to Dr. Suri, “it can be a place to recognize, investigate, and engage with deeply ingrained patterns that impact your expression of self.” Here are some fundamental goals for golden children:
- Set limits wisely to protect your family’s autonomy and sense of agency.
- Recognize and put into practice your pleasurable, situation-avoiding, or shame-related actions. Opposing action and behavioral activation are encouraged in order to broaden one’s exposure to various ways of being.
- Consider the history of your identity, which has shaped who you are now, and use what you discover to guide your decisions.
- Practice grounding techniques and mindfulness to manage any worry that might surface. Establish and maintain support networks that recognize the complexity of being honest, taking calculated risks, and being flawed.
- The golden child may, with time, tolerance, and work, overcome these traits and have far stronger interactions with others and, most importantly, with themselves. It’s definitely a process.
Conclusion
Seek professional guidance and counselling from the best “child psychologist in India” at TalktoAngel to help child overcome mental health concerns.